Key Insights
• A butt plug can be more than a sex toy – it can also be used as a tool for developing greater awareness of your pelvic floor muscles
• Feeling the plug inside your body can give you direct feedback when you clench and relax your PC muscles, making pelvic floor exercises easier to sense
• For many men, learning to relax the pelvic floor is even more important than learning to contract it, because they tend to hold a lot of unconscious tension in this part of their body
• Greater pelvic awareness can support better control of arousal, stronger sensations, and the practices I teach men on their journey toward full-body and multiple orgasms
Introduction
When most men think about butt plugs, they probably think of them simply as sex toys. But there is another way of using them that I find particularly interesting: as a tool for becoming more aware of what is happening inside your pelvic floor.
Pelvic awareness is one of the foundations of the work I do with men. When I teach men how to expand their sexual experience, last longer, and explore multiple orgasms we spend quite a lot of time learning how to consciously clench and relax the muscles in the pelvic area.
The problem is that these muscles can be surprisingly difficult to feel.
You can tell someone, “Clench your PC muscles as if you were stopping yourself from peeing,” and he will probably manage to activate something. But activating these muscles is really just one part of the story. To use them effectively during sex, you want to be able to move between clenching and completely relaxing them in a way that helps you move sexual energy through your body. This is where experimenting with a butt plug can become surprisingly useful.
The Problem: Most Men Have Very Little Awareness of Their Pelvic Floor
We use our pelvic floor muscles all the time, yet most of us hardly pay attention to them.
They are involved when we urinate, have an erection, ejaculate and orgasm. They also respond to stress and excitement, often without us consciously noticing it.
When sexual arousal increases, many men automatically tighten their pelvis. The closer they get to orgasm, the more tension builds. Eventually, the body reaches a point where ejaculation feels almost inevitable.
For a long time, this was something I struggled with in my own practice. I knew how to contract my PC muscles, but relaxing them was much harder.
Over time, I discovered that the goal wasn’t simply to have a strong pelvic floor. What mattered much more was developing awareness and flexibility – being able to consciously move between activation and relaxation.
Too much tension can make you feel as if you are constantly on the verge of exploding. Too little activation, on the other hand, can make the sensations lose their intensity.
I like to compare the ideal state to the string of a well-tuned guitar: not completely loose, but also not pulled so tightly that it is about to snap.
How Can a Butt Plug Help?
The benefit of using a butt plug is actually quite simple: it gives you a chance to really feel the state of your pelvic floor.
Without a plug, clenching and relaxing the PC muscles can be a fairly abstract internal experience. You contract something somewhere inside your pelvis and try to understand whether you are doing it correctly.
With a plug inserted comfortably, the movement becomes much more tangible.
Clenching your pelvic floor tightens the muscles around the anus, causing them to wrap more firmly around the plug and pull it inward. Relaxing the pelvic floor causes these muscles to release around it again.
This way an exercise that previously happened almost invisibly inside your body has a clear physical reference point.
For some men, this makes it much easier to develop a relationship with an area of their body that they have hardly consciously felt before.
1. Learning to Clench – Without Overdoing It
Pelvic floor exercises are sometimes presented as if stronger is always better: squeeze as hard as possible, repeat many times, and build stronger muscles.
For the sexual practices I teach, that isn’t really the goal.
You want to develop control and awareness, not simply maximum strength.
Try clenching your pelvic floor around the plug with different intensities instead of immediately going to 100%.
What does 20% feel like? What about 50%? What is different about a 100% clench? Is there a difference between clenching and relaxing at low arousal compared to high arousal?
This kind of exploration can teach you much more than simply repeating powerful contractions.
2. Learning to Relax – The Part Many Men Miss
Now comes what, for many men, is the most important part: learning to relax completely.
That sounds easy, but for many men it isn’t.
I regularly work with men who carry a surprising amount of unconscious tension in their pelvic floor. Sometimes they believe they have relaxed the muscle when in reality they are still holding it contracted to some degree.
A butt plug can make this difference easier to notice.
After a contraction, consciously allow the muscles around the plug to soften. Give yourself time. Breathe deeply into your belly and notice whether another layer of tension releases as you exhale.
Then contract gently again.
Clench.
Feel.
Relax.
Feel.
Instead of treating this as a workout, approach it almost like a meditation.
3. Connecting Your Pelvic Floor With Your Breath
Once you can clearly feel the difference between contraction and relaxation, you can begin connecting the movement with your breathing.
This is one of the central exercises I teach in my work with men.
Take a slow, deep breath into your belly. As you inhale, gently activate your pelvic floor. As you exhale, consciously release it again.
I often combine this with the Taoist Microcosmic Orbit. While inhaling and clenching your PC muscles, imagine an energetic sphere moving from your pelvis upward along your spine. As you release the muscles and exhale, visualize it traveling down the front of your body toward your pelvis again.
Whether you think of this literally as energy or simply as a visualization exercise doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that your breath, attention and pelvic movement begin working together. You might start noticing sensations in other parts of your body, such as tingling in your hands, chest, neck or head, or heat in different parts of your body. These sensations show you that the exercise is affecting your body. And these sensations are 100% real.
The butt plug can provide an additional physical anchor for this practice.
With the butt plug inside, every movement of your pelvic floor becomes more noticeable. You can feel the muscles wrapping around the plug, pulling it slightly inward, and releasing around it again. The resistance of the plug enhances these sensations and can help you notice the difference between clenching and relaxing much more clearly.
What Does This Have to Do With Lasting Longer and Multiple Orgasms?
Quite a lot.
One of the important skills for gaining more choice around ejaculation is learning to recognize the state your body is in before you reach the point where ejaculation becomes inevitable.
Your pelvic floor can act as a kind of pump that helps you open the energy channels in your body. By opening the energy channels, I mean creating pathways that allow sexual energy to flow from the genital area into other parts of your body. Once these channels are open, it becomes much easier to use your pelvic floor, breath and attention to guide the energy away from your pelvis. This can help prevent the feeling of your pelvis “overheating” and moving too quickly toward ejaculation.
With practice, you can take this even further and learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation. Instead of experiencing the orgasm as an explosion of energy outward through your genitals, you can use your pelvic floor, breathing and attention to guide this energy upward and into your body.
In my own journey toward experiencing orgasms without ejaculation and eventually multiple full-body orgasms, learning to use my pelvic floor muscles to move the energy upward was one of the essential pieces I needed.
Interestingly, I have found that for many men I work with, the butt plug can become less helpful at very high levels of arousal. Especially at the moment of implosion, when you are trying to separate orgasm from ejaculation, the plug can make it more difficult to completely clench the PC muscles. For some men, this strong clenching is an important part of guiding the energy upward into the body.
So you might find that the butt plug helps you tremendously while opening your body and learning to move the energy. But when you reach a high level of arousal and are ready to attempt the implosion, you might actually prefer to take the plug out. Experiment and see what works best for your body.
Choosing a Butt Plug for Pelvic Floor Practice
If you want to experiment with this, I would recommend starting small.
The purpose here isn’t to challenge yourself with the biggest plug you can manage. You want something that sits comfortably enough that you can stop focusing on the object itself and start paying attention to the subtle movements of your pelvic floor.
A set containing several sizes can therefore be useful because it lets you experiment and discover which size gives you enough sensation without creating unnecessary tension.
For example, this three-size butt plug set offered at CouplesCo allows you to begin with the smallest size and explore from there.
Whatever you use, make sure the plug is designed specifically for anal use and has a wide, secure base. I actually had a client who got quite nervous when he thought he had lost the butt plug inside his anus. So choosing a plug with a large enough base can be a good idea. Use plenty of lubricant, insert the plug slowly, and stop if you experience pain or anything that doesn’t feel right. Remember: this isn’t an endurance exercise. The goal is awareness.
A Simple Pelvic Awareness Practice
If you’d like to explore this yourself, here is a simple practice to begin with:
1. Get comfortable: Insert a comfortably sized butt plug with plenty of lubricant and give your body a few minutes to settle.
2. Breathe: Take several slow breaths into your belly without trying to change anything.
3. Clench: Gently contract your pelvic floor and notice what happens around the plug. Don’t immediately use maximum strength.
4. Relax: Release the contraction slowly and pay particular attention to the sensation of the muscles softening.
5. Explore intensity: Experiment with gentle, medium and stronger contractions. Notice how differently each one feels.
6. Add the breath: Begin coordinating the contractions and relaxation with slow abdominal breathing.
7. Finish with relaxation: Spend a minute simply breathing and consciously releasing your pelvic floor as completely as you can.
Even five or ten minutes of this kind of mindful practice can teach you quite a lot about an area of your body you may previously have barely noticed.
Takeaway Points
• A butt plug can be used not only for pleasure, but as a practical tool for increasing pelvic floor awareness
• The physical feedback of the plug can make it easier to feel the difference between clenching and relaxing your PC muscles
• Developing a flexible and responsive pelvic floor is more useful than simply trying to make the muscles as strong as possible
• Connecting pelvic movement with breathing and mindfulness can help you become more aware of how your body responds as sexual excitement increases
• This awareness can become a foundation for greater control of arousal, deeper full-body sensations, and eventually exploring orgasms without ejaculation and multiple orgasms
The most interesting part of this practice isn’t really the butt plug itself. It’s what the plug can teach you about your own body.
Once you learn to feel the subtle dance between tension and relaxation in your pelvis, you have a completely different level of awareness available during masturbation and partnered sex.
And that awareness can open the door to a much broader experience of your sexuality.
If you want to go deeper into this work and receive more personal support with integrating these practices, you can learn more about my online coaching program here.
